Thursday, January 29, 2009

The Wal*mart Cup - Day II

I think more and more people are starting to embrace this concept. Face it...NASCAR, Wal*mart and trailer parks go hand in hand, just ask any Formula One fan. Cheap beer, generic cigarettes, trashy women, toothless Skoal chomping rednecks, jacked up pick-up trucks and Confederate flags....are common denominators for all three venues.

Somebody is bound to ask what trailer parks have to do with this. Have you ever been to a NASCAR event? One look around and you will see the ultimate mobile home park, one that relocates every single week for 36 weeks before retiring to Florida for a couple of months. It is hard to believe that they don't experience a tornado every single week, given that most of the racetracks are located in the heart of tornado alley. Under Wal*mart will have the option of putting their mobile homes up on blocks at their favorite track...they can pay their $50 weekly rent at the customer service desk.

In a radical departure from previous title sponsors, Wal*mart says that it has no desire to demand other sponsors be banned from the track, instead they will just roll back their prices until the competition cries uncle. That means great news for Chip Ganassi, who can now keep Target (to be pronounced tar-zhay from now on, so that it sounds more sophisticated) as one of the prime sponsors of his team. The cell phone carriers will all be back as sponsors long as they agree to put kiosks in every Wally*world and Club Sammy.

Now for the real bombshell. Wal*mart is going to announce that Walgreens is actually a part of the Wally*world family and will be taking over as title sponsor of the former Busch/Nationwide series. They will be handing out free Viagra and condoms to Saturday race fans....and will offer free in-house early pregnancy screenings for 30 days after each race weekend.

Even with all these big changes in the wind...look for one more. Wally*world will absorb Camping World....and the truck racing series will become the Sam's Club Series. Your whole under one macro-economic umbrella. Who could ask for more?


  1. You make me laugh. You may start something here. Is your idea copyrighted so when WallyMart becomes the sponsor you get a royalty for having the idea 1st? I need more quilting stuff, need to pay off the house, cars, etc.

  2. Color this a done deal. Just waiting for the announcement.